REQUIRMENTS for 11th degree black belt:
Master of judo
Before testing for this rank, any experienced judo teacher should have already learned these basic techniques.
1)Escape from dojo:The quick exit to avoid clean up and helping with the mats.
2)Sleeper Stance:Standing at the corner of the dojo pretending to be the students as they sweat with exaustion.
3)Sigh of Wisdom:Sudden forceful exhalation when abegening student unexpecteadly survives a dangerous body slam.
4)Gift of Instruction:The act of taking credit when a student tournament or performs a technique correctly.
5)Seeing without Seeing:The dazed look of amazement given to the student who asks a stupid question.
6)Kuchi Waza(mouth technique):Using an hour of classtime to answer the stupid question while the students sit on their knees in seiza.
7)Mugger's Defence:Offering to lighten the students walletn to reduce the risk of confrontation.
8)Further Requirements:
a)Must be able to walk on water(while it still in liquid form).
b)Must be able to disable a man only using a kneelex tissue as a weapon.
c)Must be able to make up meaningless zen koans on the spot.
d)Must be able to catch a fly using a chopstick.
e)Must be able to de feat multiple masked masked ninja warriors after they disclose their evil plans to you and leave you to die in an escapable situation.
f)Must be able to voice over a GODZILLA movie properly(i.e coordination between the movement of lips and the voice.
g)Must be able totake a bullet(not in the chest but in the leg or so)
h)Must be able to make your own nuclear device using a pencil,a piece of bubblegum, some coconuts and an alarm clock.
i)Must be able to change into a judogi in a phone boothat any given moment.
j)Must be able to sing karaoke.
k)Must be able to use nature to advantage(i.e a sick dog on the enemies, throw with a stone and climb a tree)
l)Must be able to fight blindfolded and win(against blind competetors of course)
m)Must be able to use the opponents skills as the reason for defeat.
n)Must be able to trim an entire whole forest into a bonzai garden in about 25minutes or less.
(Note-Laughing at any point will disqualify the potential 11th dan.If a member of the senior board of makes a comment and then waits expectantly, it may be an indication that he has just made a joke,a half smile may be tried at this moment,but in no other instance.
